Just Thoughts and Nothing Else

Trust is something that is inherently born within you until someone comes along in your life and promises something to you and then breaks that promise. Sometimes as a child you are pretty easy going and just fluff it off. Sometimes you get sad and whomever it was that broke that promise tries to make it up to you in a different way, so you get over it pretty fast because the new thing that they gave you in place of the broken promise wasn't so bad and might have even been better than what you were promised in the first place.
But........That promise as a child is still there in your head, you didn't erase it, you didn't let go of it and you will always somehow remember it and wonder why someone broke that promise in the first place and why you didn't get or do whatever it was that was promised to you.

Your life keeps moving forward and you are a teenager and you start dating. You get disappointed when someone says they'll go with you somewhere and they don't, or you had plans with your friends to go to a party and suddenly they have to go out with their boyfriends or girlfriends and leave you behind. You have a boyfriend/girlfriend and through the grapevine of pettiness, you find that he/she is seeing another girl/boy and your heart is broken.
You break up with that person and you move on. You move on and find another and maybe the next person in your life is good and truthful but eventually you break up too.
Lots and lots of dates and breakups throughout your dating life, but every one of those promises that were made to you during all those times of uncertainty, builds walls around your exterior brick by brick and the next person in line that attempts to find a way to your heart runs up against resistance. You try to understand that everyone is different but the little signs are there and you start to look as if you are obsessed with that person who is now pledging his/her trustworthiness to you. You call them too often, you don't like that they are out of your site, you call them a dozen times when they are not with you until you have made them quite unsure of who you really are???? Let's face it, you don't know who you are anymore either. But the two of you move on into new directions without one another.

Life moves on again and apparently you've found someone who has as many insecurities as you do or they don't have the insecurities that you do, but they love being with you so your insecurities don't really rear their ugly heads at you because you are getting all the attention you have been seeking, so you are in a good place.
Let's say you maybe even marry this person because you think they just can't be without you and they would never fall out of love with you or cheat on you, or even want to because together forever is the motto that the two of you have decided works forever and you two may be the only two people in the world that believe this!!!

Things are good for awhile and then children come along. You feel less secure in your emotions because children are always taking your time up and you don't have as much time to devote to looking good or paying attention to your spouse as you once did. The doubt you feel at times becomes overwhelming and you feel that because you look haggerd and worn out or you work too many hours to devote any time to your family, that you just don't care anymore or at least it would seem that way to the spouse that thought you would be there romancing them forever!

The little innuendos start rearing their ugly heads and the accusations start to fly from time to time and it starts arguments, fights and walking out much of the time. You sometimes get over it and everyone apologizes and you move on until the next time.
Suddenly one day someone seems totally different, totally not the same person. They start taking care of themselves a little better. They worry how they look when they walk out the door each day and they now either have to work more or go out with their friends a little more.
You notice that they are wearing more cologne or doing their hair different, or they are taking more business trips than they ever took before. They suddenly don't really care if you are upset about them leaving or doing anything that you confront them with, and it almost seems to make them get a smile of sorts on their face because now they have the perfect excuse to walk out, or go out or do whatever it is they were already doing and couldn't justify why, but now you just made it easier for them.
You just opened the door and said, go have some fun because I deserve this type of behavior and because I'm such a bad person for letting life get the best of me at times, I deserve to have this punishment of you making me loose my trust in someone I thought I could depend on for the rest of my life!
I trusted that you would never hurt me, nor would you ever lie to me, or worst of all, never give up on your family who trusted you too.......

Whether a person walks away because of cheating, or incompatibility or finances or just falling out of love, your trust issues are right at hand again and you feel like that little kid again that didn't get what they were promised and you never forgot. Of course you accepted that trade off that you were given for that broken promise as a child, but what is your trade off now?????
You are alone and struggling to fit into life again or you are struggling to just understand why?
You find that whatever you are able to cope with and however you have to survive and move on, you find that you can do it and you bury your trust issues deep inside again never to be forgotten and someday they will rear their ugly heads all over again and pity the poor person who has to deal with them in the future.

So what do people do when they have these trust issues? How do they keep dealing with them and not destroying everything or everyone that comes into their lives as life progresses for them?
How does a person become a person that is whole again and doesn't fear the unknown of a new partner? How does that person understand that not everyone will be that way and there are truly honest people in the world that won't leave when times get bad, or cheat, or fall out of love with you either? How do they know that promises will never be broken again? How do they protect their hearts along with trying to protect themselves from themselves? How do they proceed into a new relationship and not send up red flags all over the place?

What does a person do, not to destroy every single new relationship with having that TRUST issue in their hearts? Does anyone really have the answers? Can a person ever change how you trust someone??? A partner? A lover? A Friend? A co-worker? A mother? A Father? A sibling?

I don't really know, Do you?