"Just Me"
March 1, 2010
And This Too, "Shall Pass"
Monday, March 01, 2010 | 
Posted by
Anonymous
In the time of your life as a mom you can remember many things, but the times that seemed the most fun to remember were the times you spent growing up with your kids! So I'll take you back in time to when I was a young mother with all the chaos of daily life and help you remember that it was/nt so bad after all.I started out life as a young mom at 22 years old (In those days, we married very young, I was 18). I was suddenly a mom of triplets (2 boys, 1 girl) and was very excited to have children as was my husband.
We really didn't have a clue what trying to take care of 3 babies all at once was going to be like, but we were just so happy to have them and know that they were healthy, so it just didn't matter.
We brought them home from the Hospital within two weeks of them being born and we were ready for it all.
3 cribs, 3 bassinets, lots of clothes, a diaper service and of course offers of help from family and friends. The hours were so long some days we thought time was added to the clock!
The nights always woke us up in a frenzy just trying to get to them quick enough to feed them one by one instead of trying to feed all three at the same time. That just never worked because when one started crying they all started!
I made the bottles, my husband ran down the hall and scooped them up and started changing the diapers and then I would feed two and he would feed one. Lots of nights of this routine filled with days of changing diapers so much, that my mom and I (who was there every single day for the first 18 months)
didn't know or remember who was changed last! Feedings, schedules, rashes, feedings, schedules, rashes, and of course 100's of diapers! Days turned into nights without a moments notice and you never thought you'd get through it all and then it starts to happen and you say, "This too shall pass"
Another chapter starts and they become toddlers full of life and mischief. You never think you'll ever be able to breathe again or take time for yourself or to just even go to the restroom by yourself, ever again! Then for all that time it takes feeding, stopping them from getting hurt, potty training, you get another pleasant surprise a blessing handed to you, you're going to have another baby! This time you are more concerned that if it's only a single child will he (in our case) ever be able to handle emotionally the fact that he will forever be known as the triplets little brother? So you worry and fret but you say "This too shall pass."
The baby comes home and he's a beautiful big blue eyed, blond haired little cherub. You can't even fathom the idea any more that he won't be able to cope with being the little brother to anyone, because he's so wonderful all on his own. So with all the spitting up, bumps, bruises, fighting, food throwing ,endless chaos and still you find the strength every single day to get up again and put a smile on your face and start the day again. You wonder when will it ever get easier and the day comes and you think to yourself "This too shall pass".
As if you were not busy enough during the infancy and toddler years,the adolescent years are now upon you. Your a room mom, party planner and referee. While the fighting and arguing between siblings continues,so does your work schedule, the school schedule, and the extracurricular activities. Only to be taken for granted by everyone and anyone who needs you at this point in their lives. You take on a new part time job because you actually think the children need you less.That is so untrue, because now you've become a cook and a chauffeur for them and all of their friends too. You suddenly find yourself saying, have I lost my mind, I've added a job to this mess? When does this ever get easier, what time is bedtime?"But this too shall pass."
Now, they are true teenagers and you start dealing with worrying all the time, and I'm saying to myself and my husband, " Who's this crazy looking kid my daughter is trying to shove down our throats this week? Or what's with that little girl who shouldn't even be on a date at her age, let alone, climbing all over my son?"
The driving lessons you have to give them which makes your gray hair start coming in rapidly. In my case I had to drive with three crazy teenagers and give equal time to each of them and was only spared some of the horror when I had to do it again when our youngest child needed the time to learn too.
Dating, proms, mood swings, awful mouths that you were threatening to wash out with dish soap several times a day and then there is the constant comments they are saying now to you that consist of "Well my friends parents let my friends do it" or "Why do I always have to dress like I'm an orphan? Or do I have to wear these generic clothes? Are you trying to make everyone think I'm adopted? "I want spaghettios, not mommy'os. Or how about the youngest one saying when he turns into that teenager, "You like the triplets better than me, or you give them everything and I get all the leftovers, or they get better cakes on their birthday than you ever gave me." "And this too shall pass."
Now they are those young adults who of course know everything and parents are just so outdated with everything and they really believe we haven't a clue what life's about and how did we get so old not knowing anything? Amazing to me...And of course,again more comments from them, "my life is such a mess and it's all your fault!"
" you traumatized us by making us dress the way you did and take us to parks where the bees were chasing us, or all the times you never let us have our own birthday parties separate, or how come they get a train cake and I just get a truck cake""I'll be lucky if I ever find someone that thinks I'm normal". In spite of all of the torture they've been through, now they've found the woman or man of their dreams and you are so positive that it will never last because they all seem to be partially insane, but you say as long as you love them and respect them that is all we can hope for. They get married and the battles begin and you feel like you are starting over again, and now you've inherited more children. "Their wives and husbands too".
By this time you and your husband are so elated to have them finally out of the house so you can actually find out where your partner has been hiding all those years?
Suddenly those adult children, are coming back and forth in your home like it has revolving doors and you don't remember when you forgot to lock that door.
So I'm asking myself now, "Did I really forget to lock that door last night before I fell asleep?
And this too shall pass.
It's the years now when "your babies " start having babies of their own and you start laughing so much more just because they are now the ones being driven totally insane. It's now the time when you keep seeing reflections of "your life as young parents" and although you laugh a lot, you keep being asked for your advice about certain things and decisions that they are thinking about when it comes to the raising of them, But don't fall for it, because if you think they really want that advice, "You are Wrong! Because when you give it to them, they tell you "you need to step back and mind your own business, they will raise their children the way they want to and they don't believe in spankings". Now a days, the new rules are never give the children a pat on their butts anymore, it's Time Out and that mostly doesn't work at all and now you've got all these grand kids that are starting to talk to their parents as if they are the adults and the adults are the children. Really getting scary," but this too shall pass."
Now they are all having easier times with their children as they are growing, and of course, things are still as chaotic as it was in our day. Believe me, easier in my vocabulary doesn't mean raising children is easy by no means it's just that you have a couple more minutes to relax when relatives are all get together because you aren't always worried they will get hurt or you don't always have to be feeding or changing diapers anymore. That's the only easier I see. Well of course now, Im not the one taking care of them, they do....but time has passed so fast that you now wonder "Look at this, I'm actually sitting back watching and not doing, when did this happen?". Now these parents are saying to themselves, Will this day ever pass?
As I now am wondering just when I thought it would get easier for me and my partner in life, why was he taken from me? how did our life go by so fast? How did I miss the time passing? When did my children become parents? Is this loneliness I feel now, for real? How come the door stopped opening and closing and why aren't the children coming in and out all the time? Of course when my husband was still here we had those Sunday dinners with kids and grandkids and little ones running all over the place, but now it's only when they can find the time because now they have all the chaotic events going on and have no time. How did I miss so much?
So as you were praying for "This to pass", it did, and you wonder why? And how you now wished you could turn back the hands of time to the chaos and life that was so filled with laughter at times. We had times of tears and the times of joy along the way. Great times, bad times, moments to remember and moments we'd like to forget. The moments when there were food fights and baseball practice, dance lessons and homework and moving in and out.
When did your little boys become men and dads, and your daughters became women and moms?
So as you young parents out there keep saying throughout your lives (as we did then) "This too shall pass", the one day will come when you really wished it hadn't, and at least not so quickly!
"I do".
By: Janice
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Reflections of our lives
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1 Post Comments:
Crazy how life comes full circle. It's hard sometimes not to wish the crazy moments of motherhood away.But it's true time flies regardless whether or not your having fun.Might as well make the most of every moment.Thanks for your reflection and wisdom.
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