Just Thoughts and Nothing Else

 Relationships are tough at best!  They start off with all the bells and whistles being blown and trickle down along the way while people get to know each other.  Comfort sets in and sometimes all hell can break loose!

Sometimes you might get lucky and find that it stays pretty much the same too...You think of couples out there of every age group and you think to yourselves sometimes what is normal?  What are you supposed to do to make this different for you than it was for your friends relationship?  What can you do to make this different from your parents relationship?  What can you do to make this different from past relationships?  What can you do to withstand the storms that are for sure to come and go throughout a relationship?  I mean what can be different for you than anyone else when all you ever are asking for is perfection?

There is no such thing as perfection in a relationship, unless of course you are expecting that there never will be fights, never differences of opinions, never annoying habits to contend with, never wise cracks to each other, and that romance won't fade a bit.   

Most of all you just want consideration, thoughtfulness, caring, respect and love!

The really big "L" word. 

You watch elderly people who are still holding hands while walking, and them being the perfect caretakers of their partners in life by opening doors for her, treating him a bit like a child when they are sick, turning to smile at one another from time to time, learning to know that "little things mean a lot" and sometimes you ask yourself,    "What's their secret"  Didn't they ever have all those problems?  Didn't they ever fight?

The answer to that usually lies in the fact that all battles don't have to be won or lost by either party, but rather learning to survive the war!  Learning to survive the differences? Learning to see that it's not always about right or wrong, but learning to agree to disagree from time to time and knowing when to let go of things....

It's just trusting that you've chosen the right partner in life and knowing that it's really possible to compliment each others personalities.  Learning to RESPECT your partners ideals, dreams, dignity at all times.  Giving them space to keep growing as we change in life.  Learning to play on equal and stable ground.  Learning that a great relationship is about communication and respect always. 

Learning to never talk to anyone especially your partner, in a condescending tone because that would imply that you are better than your partner and that could be stepping on dangerous ground....

Never, never go to bed angry.  Never go to bed without at least a "Goodnight" no matter how mad or upset you might be. Believe me, it's not an admission of guilt in any situation unless your partner treats it as such, it's just knowing that it's important to keep love alive... Sometimes all of those nights where you didn't say goodnight could mount up and the molehills keep growing until there is so much resentment built up in that relationship that you don't even remember where it all started.  You don't even remember when was the last time that you knew who you were anymore.  You keep things inside only to loose yourself along the way.
You always need to talk and even if you can't work things out today you have to keep coming back to it until you do.  Don't let your mole hills become mountains that someday become unable to be climbed.

Treat your partner in life with all the respect, love and consideration you would give to your best friend in life, because when the rest of the world changes around the two of you, you will only have to look across the table every day and see that one special person that you understood needed nurturing to keep your friendship with them alive.  That one special person that forgives you even when you've acted pretty stupid sometimes!  That one person who was your best friend all along!  Think of this concept, "treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a stranger" and you just might find the secret....

So as I sit back and ponder relationships, I hope that my children and their spouses have that kind of success in their marriages.  I hope their children grow up knowing how very, very important it is to nurture relationships too someday, and I hope that all of you out there who just might be having difficulties right now, learn to communicate your feelings because without that, love can be wounded, love can die and nations have gone to war over mis-communications!

"Start every day fresh, and end every day with a Goodnight!  No matter what!

Most of all, RESPECT, RESPECT, RESPECT!!!!  All else will fall in line naturally..."js

"Love can be measured by those precious moments in life, that you don't let get away"js

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