Just Thoughts and Nothing Else

I dedicate this to my friend who likes to “Blog” and wanted me to add to her “crabby corner”! Yes she finds humor in the misery of my life! So here it goes:

Why I am crabby?

I start my day trying to sneak out of bed a little early for some “alone time” before the “Old One” gets out of bed, I sometimes get 20-30 minutes of peace! I wake to “the dogs” Got to let the dogs out ya know, no time for the news or a peaceful cup of coffee, no that’s right, “the dogs” have to go out right now! Okay let them out, go sneak a smoke and a sip of coffee in the garage, then I have to hurry and let them in before the “Old One” goes to sneak a peek out the window, has to see if the dogs went potty? If I hurry I can get them in before she goes to the blinds and bends the heck out of them trying to get that peek! So I let them in, head back to my spot on the couch to try to catch a few minutes of the news and a nice cup of coffee. The “Old One” wants to know if the dogs went potty. I suppose my life would be easier if I just said “YES”, but I don’t like to lie, so I say to her “I don’t know, I don’t look at their asses to see if anything came out, don’t care, if they have to go, they will”. Is there anything wrong with that statement I ask you? There it goes, the head in the hand by the old one, guess I said something wrong. Oh well back to the news, no wait, the Old one is reading the bottom marquee out loud, okay forget that. On to the shower for me, have to get ready for work. It takes me two seconds to walk to my room, Whoops, forget something in the kitchen. Holy cow the old one has already got up and filled the dog dishes with food and has them sitting on the floor ready to eat! Never seen her move so fast in my life! Okay back to the shower, 10 minutes later I’m out, I hear from the other room “PUFFER, GET OVER HERE AND EAT!” This is funny to me, this dog should be no bigger than 12 lbs, and I think he weighs at least 22lbs! Oh well not my dog.

I hurry for the door to head to work, but my secret is that I really have 10 minutes before I have to leave so I head out to the garage for a smoke and some coffee, the good thing is there is a TV in the garage so I get to watch that news!

Off to work! Living the dream for 10 years now at work! Office work is so very interesting, sit at the desk all day on the ass that once was little, and stare at a computer all day! At work I am known as “The problem child” That’s right I have been moved to so many desks in this office over the years. Why you ask? I “don’t play nice with others”! Hmm, don’t get that about myself. I’m just sitting here doing what they tell me to do, don’t understand? Wait here she comes, nosey old lady trying to get information out of everyone to spread the news through the office. Not me, not going to get anything out of me, no way! I only talk to the “real people”, don’t care for phoney people, by the way that’s how you get ahead in the office world, kiss lots of boss Ass! Again, not my bag baby. Have you ever heard of an employee getting in trouble for asking their boss to give them some more work? Hmm, I get in trouble for that! Wonder if they can read my inner most thoughts? Oh boy, a lot going on in that head of mine, but I try not to let it out in public! Geez so much to say about work, have to get back to that another time.

Jump ahead to 3pm, Love of my life calls every day about that time. Want to know what he has to say? “what’s going on tonight, what about dinner” What’s wrong with that you ask? Well let me tell you. We (love of my life and me) do absolutely nothing every night of our life, he sits in one room, I sit in the other with the “old one” and nothing EVER goes on! Dinner, don’t give a rats ass about dinner, so why does he ask me every day of my life??? 20 something years of that, gets old! Okay way too much to say about that Man of mine! I will talk more about him and the “family” another time. Wait till you hear about that wonderful “family” of mine!

Okay skip ahead to 5pm, QUITTING TIME!” Yahoo, I get to go home! Walk in the door, the “old one” wants to tell me something! “The dogs haven’t been out yet”. The reason she tells me this is cause she can’t wipe my dogs feet when he comes in, my dog is 90lbs of red hairy dog! But she finds a way to wipe their feet at least 10 times a day, cause let me tell you, if they look at her, she thinks they have to go potty! Okay I try and try to convince her, they don’t need to go out, they just WANT to go run around the yard. But anyway, get past the fact that I haven’t even put my purse down or taken off my shoes yet, she greets me at the back door to inform me of this fact. Okay, just do it, let them out, whew that’s over with. Okay love of my life has dinner ready. OH MY GOD, can I have a few minutes to chill please? NOPE, gotta get the dogs out, gotta eat right now!

Dinner is over with, dogs are out and its 6pm! Ahh, get to sit down and relax. NOPE, just sat down and the “old one” is staring at me! I look over, I did try to pretend I didn’t see that. Guess what? “don’t you think the dogs need to go potty?” Are you freakin kidding me? Okay, here’s my chance to go have a smoke and a beer in the garage. Okay, back to the couch, “what’s on TV tonight” I ask, my waiting of making conversation ya know? Idol is on, oh GREAT, now I get to hear all about the “old one’s” day! “Don’t you think your dog shits too much? It’s gross out there, the biggest shit I’ve ever seen”. My comment: “No she is a big dog, it’s not unusual”. What I’m thinking you ask? QUIT LOOKING AT THE SHIT! Who gives a rats ass? Okay, let’s move on, I have not heard more about the dogs shit than anyone could possibly handle, I have been rushed in the door to eat by my loving man who by the way has said nothing else to me the entire night, but that’s fine with me, cause I have been busy talking about shit all night. Haven’t seen much of the Idol, been a little busy, letting the dogs in and out ya know? Yeah, bedtime, Ahhh peace and quiet, wait, nope, here comes the love of my life! How I ask, does somebody get in to bed one minute, and one minute later he is SNORING so LOUD? That’s it! I’m pissed now, I give him a few polite pokes, that doesn’t work, so I throw him out of bed and tell him to “get in the other room and don’t come back until I am sound asleep!” Good night, more tomorrow.